Do we trust people because of who they are, or whom we hope they are?

What is trust? Google says trust is having confidence in their reliability, honesty, and ability to act in a way that aligns with your expectations or best interests.

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Is trust based on facts and real experiences with people, or is it based more on our expectations, hopes, or needs? 

Linking this back to philosophy, two areas are deeply connected to this: firstly, epistemology- the study of how we know things (Can we ever really know a person?) And secondly, ethics and human nature- the theory of how people act and we form relationships.

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Various philosophers have said, “Trust is a leap of faith.” It's one of the biggest decisions and risks we can take. You never have complete proof that someone will do what you expect. But you still trust them.. Why? This is for 2 main reasons… 

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Firstly, you trust someone because of their past actions, their behaviour, and their character.

This is a rational form of trust. You observe them over time and say, “I’ve seen enough to believe they’ll act a certain way,” but you're'rere still not 100% sure. Based on what you have observed and seen, you can say this.

Example: Your best friend hasn't told anyone any of your secrets in the past 5years; that history builds trust. 

 

Secondly, hope-based trust is when you trust based on who you hope they are. You trust someone because you want or need to believe they are kind, honest, or loyal, even without proof. This is an emotional or psychological form of trust. It’s based on what you wish to be true. There's no history,y,, there's hope and belief 

Example: You meet someone new who seems nice. You share something personal. You don’t know them well, but you hope they’ll be a good person.

 

Various philosophers share the same idea that trust is jumping into the unknown.n. 

• Annette Baier – Trust as vulnerability 

She argued that trust is not fully rational. When we trust, we are vulnerable, and we often do it before we know someone well. We hope they’ll protect us, not hurt us.

Thus, trust starts with hope, not evidence.
 

• Immanuel Kant – People as ends, not means

Kant believed we should respect people as individuals with free will.

He would say, We must build trust based on who people really are, not just how they make us feel or what we want from them.

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• Friedrich Nietzsche – Self-deception in relationships

Nietzsche believed we often lie to ourselves about people, especially when we’re lonely or emotionally attached.

He’d say, Many people trust based on illusion, not truth, because it feels better to believe the best.

 

• SørenKierkegaard – Leap of faith

Kierkegaard said that real relationships require a leap of faith.

You can never know someone perfectly. So to love or trust them, you must accept the unknown and take the risk.

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Trust is like a key to your house. That house represents your inner world—your thoughts, feelings, secrets, and vulnerabilities. Now, when you hold this key, it shows trust. You can either give the key based on trusting who they are or trusting based on who you hope they are. 

If you give the key to someone, trust is based on who they are.

You give the key to someone you’ve known for years—someone who’s proven reliable, respectful, and kind. They’ve earned your trust through actions, so handing them the key feels safe, not risky.

But if you give the key based on who you hope they are

You meet someone new—they’re kind, warm, and make you feel seen.
Even though you barely know them, you give them the key, hoping they’re safe. Your trust isn’t based on who they’ve proven to be, but who you hope they are.

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What happens next:

Sometimes, your hopes are right. They protect your space and become someone you can count on.
Other times, your hope was wrong. They enter your house and leave a mess or worse.

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That’s the risk of trust:
Even when you give someone a key based on evidence, they can still change.
Even when you give someone a key based on hope, they might still be trustworthy.

Trust is a mix of logic and emotion.
We want to believe people are safe, but only time shows if they truly are.
And once trust is broken (the house is damaged), it takes a lot to hand out the key again.

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Conclusion: 

Ultimately, trust often involves both logical thinking and blind faith. Particularly when we yearn for comfort or connection, we start by believing in the person we hope someone is. However, genuine, enduring trust only develops when that expectation is fulfilled by constant action. Trust is always risky, like handing someone the key to our inner world. Separating risks that are grounded in truth from those that are based on fantasy is a difficult task. The strength of faith likely comes from choosing to believe while being cautious and maintaining an open mind, rather than from certainty.